Alone In Blue Hour…With Jaidah
Alone in Blue Hour….with Jaidah LOL
I met Cassius Tae at a networking event hosted by another Chicago based creative. He was a panelist discussing the ins & outs of pleasure in the workplace (event curated by @TheBusyOfficial). We connected after the speaking portion of the event and found a few things in common like our passion for the arts, community building and journeys of healing. We decided to collaborate in honor of Men’s Mental Health Month, to show how creatives can find healing and peace in their unique processes; and also to highlight his upcoming project Alone In Blue Hour dropping June 30th.
So, who is Cassius Tae? Well, in his own words, he’s an observant, relaxed, chill black guy, “doing what I love and trying to find happiness outside of that. I take friendship very seriously. I would say I’m a loyal person. I’m dependent. Always thinking of people. I’m the guy you can count on to call.”
Not many people are prepared to answer the question he was asked. So naturally he was initially hesitant in his responses. Not so much in that he didn’t want to answer, but didn’t necessarily know how much he was allowed to say.
“I got a pure soul, I don’t do the hate.” - Drake
In sum of it all Tae states, “I think everything I do just stems from creation.” As I encouraged him to open up a bit more, to stop cutting himself off and to feel worthy of the space he was occupying, we got deeper into the conversation.
When asked about his level of self awareness he replied, “I think I’m definitely very self aware.” He goes on to describe how the people in his life, specifically those from the block he was raised on, were instrumental in shaping the person he became; he believes that certain people can bring certain things out of you.
“My block was almost like a village. My experiences with that (good or bad) all made me better.” That village of a block taught him what goes into making a lifelong connection with someone; loyalty, compassion, someone you can count on who does things that are right and fair. People who give sound advice etc.
The conversation continued to that end with him dropping gems on humility, the importance of a willingness to learn, & how much he values the people in his life, especially his two woman best friends who continue to show him what type of man he wants to be through their own experiences with other men in their lives.
When asked if he believes that empathy or sympathy are required to be a good friend he responded that its best to encourage people to just approach all communication from a point of listening to understand rather than to respond, empathize or offer compassion. In short, because it’s better to understand someone’s point of view than to agree with it.
I asked him at its best, what support from those in his life should look like. Men often have a difficult time asking for support, or even admitting to themselves that they need it in the first place. Sometimes it can be difficult to separate yourself from things you learned in the past about your ability to process your emotions in a vulnerable way. It can be so scary to ask for help when you’ve never felt allowed to.
“Honestly, support for me is just feeling like I’m being listened to. I really value that more than anything, to not be ignored.” Music has taught him to be more vulnerable, more open in sharing his feelings. It has also taught him to create his own closure through creative expression. He doesn’t need someone to hear his music and reach out looking to tie up loose ends, nor does he fear that. The act of putting the project together itself was healing enough for him.
Alone in Blue Hour (his upcoming project dropping July 8th) became the perfect example of what it means for a person who is able to use their creative ability to process the emotions they may be feeling at any given time and use that creative ability as a path toward healing. He was able to lean on this project as a coping mechanism for what he was experiencing in his day to day life...a break up, and the purging of many people, paths & places in what was his life before this project.
Two songs on this project were described as “the spark” and “the glue” that brought it together. Scared love (the spark) was a more emotional and wordy song that challenged him to include more melodic tones and single parts in the music, which was inspired by the artists he had in heavy rotation at the time (The Weeknd, Brent Faiyaz & Giveon).
He was also inspired by two of his favorite rappers (Wayne & Jay) to connect with himself and his audience deeper by finding and honoring his voice, something he said he did by recording a lot and listening to himself. It was oftentimes difficult accepting that through this new approach to vocal vulnerability to know that people will learn of his emotional struggles. Yet, he continues to push himself more now than ever to explore this path.
Writing this project was challenging in general because his approach had changed. He no longer aimed to prove his worth in this space. This one was more personal. Deeper. A means of catharsis and release. Scoop (the glue), a song about a sneaky link, was the song that really inspired him (and his support system) to see the music as something that could be more than a group of singles.
The Blue Hour theme was inspired by many winter season photoshoots shared between him and his brother (a photographer). They both really appreciated the gloomy, dark, cold hearted, in your feelings aesthetic it brought about. The women in his life helped do the heavy lifting when it came to the title.
A director friend of his (@ashanti_as_hell) had the idea to shoot a short film for the project entitled Blue Hour and another friend (@drippdt) (DJ & video costar for Scoop) sent him a playlist called “Alone Time”. As they say, he was inspired and the rest was history.
“Art can influence life.”
Writing and recording his music helped Tae learn to accept certain things about himself and his life that he’d previously been struggling with. It taught him to find and honor his voice and not to be afraid to share how he was feeling. It also helped him realize that often it's not about looking back, but being present, or looking forward. He hopes that his words can inspire others to acknowledge their emotions, feel their feelings and explore their vulnerability in whatever creative ways they are called to do so. He encourages his listeners to listen to Alone in Blue Hour alone, in blue hour, because….
“If anything, the feeling gon shine through.”
PART TWO
So...Did you panic?
“I didn’t panic, I was relieved. I was getting so many calls and dms about the excitement of what people wanted from me...”
Last time we spoke, Cassius Tae was over the moon with excitement & good nerves. It was Men’s Mental Health Month & we were excited to use this project to highlight that. We were speaking ahead of his original album release date that, due to unforeseeable technical circumstances, never came to pass.
So obviously I was curious as to how he was feeling. Having to go from working so hard to put the project together & even work up the nerve to share it with the world for that to to ultimately not happen as seamlessly as possible? A crushing blow. At the least. As always, he was gracious enough to be vulnerable with me. Read on...
As it settled upon him that the release would have to be pushed, feelings of uncertainty & (oddly enough), gratitude started to sink in. The imploded release caused him to question whether or not he put his full ability into the project or if he was so concerned with how it would be received that he was standing on the edge of his potential.
Previously we’d spoken about the importance of keeping your faith, controlling what we can control & releasing what we can’t. Though we couldn’t have guessed that he would have had to implement these lessons regarding his upcoming project, he did so, seamlessly. He could have beaten himself up, or even given up”
“When niggas upset they gon turn they savage up. When the shit didn’t upload I felt relieved that I got a second chance but I also felt bad for all the people I had waiting. I also felt a big relief because a lot of albums came out that Friday. I was like...SHIT!”
Instead of seeing failure, Tae saw opportunity. The outpouring of love and support inspired him to push himself to deliver at a higher level. It was now a matter of potential and execution. He decided to add two more songs to the new release as a bonus. Songs he felt like pushed his pen & project flow creatively.
He was even more inspired to bring more of his own talent out into the music, production and lyricism. He’d been toying with the idea of adding more unique sounds from different decades to add layers to what he was trying to communicate. Those who worked on the rest of the project with him inspired him to dig deeper into his skillset.
“A lot of people definitely did reach out to me to help me. You hear a lot about the lack of camaraderie amongst Chicago artists and in ways that’s true but in ways I can’t stunt because like 15 artists hit me up and offered support.”
To his surprise, the show of love & support from his peers was genuine & steady. There’s a narrative in the city that creatives don’t like to see each other win. He felt like people would look at him (this self proclaimed expert in his field) as an amateur, or maybe even celebrate his failure. He’s a person who acknowledges how important being humble is but what upset him the most was being the last to know where the release date tech issue was stemming from.
“God puts things into people to bring to you. Especially when a lot of people say the same shit, it doesn’t feel like it’s by accident. In short, the theme was that something bigger is coming from this. People really took the time to reach out and support me.”
His album is called ``Alone in blue hour but ironically he feels this is the most people have supported him in a long time. A shocking revelation in his opinion.
It’s all a matter of perspective, we surmise.
Read on for a lyric breakdown of Portra 400, one of the project's bonus tracks. He played it for me during our last conversation & I told him it feels like standing on the set of Michael Jackson’s Rock With You video.
Portra 400 is a kodak film. He loves film pictures and vintage/nostalgic paraphernalia. This was the perfect theme for him to really connect with himself musically.
“I feel like part of using that title is that it kind of helped me set the scene aesthetically for a 90s inspired type of love.”
Basically the song is saying I would picture you & me together like Portra 400, “at least a hundred times before I told you I knew you was mine”.
PORTRA 400
[Hook]
I would picture us together like
Portra 400
At least 100 times
Before I told you I knew you was mine
[Verse 1]
The rise in yo breast
When you take a breath
When you see me every time
Make me wish i could
Combine with you
Dolce & Gabana bonafide
But more precious than God’s design is impossible
Tell me when you feel like i should stop the truth
Too many don lied to you
I don’t have no reason to
Toy with you i ain’t trying you
Told you all my past relationships
Friends and situations
Hoes phases and who dates
Nothing left to say but
It’s crazy you still accept me
I would find a way straight down from heaven
To this love this blessing
[Hook]
I would picture us together like
Portra 400
At least 100 times
Before I told you I knew you was mine (2x)
Knew you was the one for me
You get what you want from me
I ain’t tryna stunt but
[Verse 2]
I don’t photo dump with no swipe right
I delete hoes out my life rearrange a camera roll
Full of smiles that is better than life
Better than examples set by Christ
Blasphemous, Naw
Not when talking bout a angel that’s sent from the Lord
Glorious for sure
Gloria shoulda really been yo name for short
Countdown starting at 4
[Hook]
I would picture us together like
Portra 400
At least 100 times
Before I told you I knew you was mine
Knew you was the one for me
You get what you want from me
I ain’t tryna stunt but
[Verse 3]
I can’t see me dying without you
I can’t live this life without you
And when we get it on
Ima bring the fire out you
Tryna catch the sun is easier than tryna rise without you
And that’s why
[Hook]
I would picture us together like Porta 400
At least I 100 times
Before I told you I knew you was mine
Knew you was the one for me
You get what you want from me
I ain’t tryna stunt but
“The hook and the first verse is a freestyle.” He told his producer he wanted to make something 80s inspired musically, (but make it hip hop, & make it unique to him). Especially the drums in the top layer of the track.
The producer made the beat in the winter of 2019, just before the COVID-19 pandemic. “It’s hard for me to write from the perspective of being in love but like the perspective of having a crush on somebody; going off that feeling I can do whatever.”
“When I typically make songs I drive & I freestyle from the perspective of how I would like to rap along to this song if it was someone else’s. So the whole first verse and the hook is a freestyle I remembered from December 2019.”
Fast forward to 2021 always wanted that beat to be featured on the project, but he couldn’t figure out a way to make it fit. He ended up finding another beat that when placed in front of Portra 400 would make the project flow easier.
“I started writing it after my project didn’t go live. I was so upset with myself that I felt like man I can do better. I told myself I’m going to finish this song and no matter what I’m gonna find a way to get it on the project.”
“I wanted it to be very visual so the audience could actually picture what I was saying.”
“It’s hard to tell a woman something new that she hasn’t already heard. I’m laying it all out on the table. I want you that bad. I’m a thorough nigga but something about you just made me feel like you’re my endpoint, you’re where I’m stopping.”
Her smile is better than an example sent by christ. Blasphemous? Nah, not when I’m talking about an angel sent to me from the Lord!”
You’ll notice a lot of holier themes in the lyrics, calling the woman a blessing & an angel and letting her know he’d even come down from heaven if it meant she could accept him for who he’s grown to be and build a life with him. He wants her so bad that he attributes her presence in his life to a higher power.
He wanted it to feel like she’s a God sent woman, something the word beauty itself couldn’t even capture. He says, “even the words that I’m saying couldn’t do her enough justice.”
I can’t see my dying without you. I can’t live this life without you. And when we get it on, Ima bring the fire up out you….
Trying to catch the sun is easier than trying to rise without you...
He said before, “If anything, the feeling gon shine through.” He will not disappoint.
Alone In Blue Hour drops July 8th.
